Deseo besar tus ojos
borrar el eyeliner desvaído
deseo morder tu nuca
Deseo, por supuesto, chupar tus tetas
meter un dedo en tu ombligo
y pasar mi mano por tu culo
hacia abajo
hacia enmedio
hacia arriba
y hacia dentro
Hace años, cuando era joven, me burlaba de las historias de Paulo Coelho. Hoy, tengo una para contarte:
Nada más recibir mi nuevo coche, tuve una avería. Nos pilló en Soria, en puente, lejos de todo. Volvimos a Madrid en un viaje agónico, a cincuenta grados dentro del carro, a ochenta por hora en la autopista, añadiendo al asfixiante calor del aire el humo de los camiones detrás de los cuales íbamos salpicando gasoil. El infierno. Cuando llegamos a Madrid acudí al primer taller que encontré y les encomendé mi coche.
Tras un rato de manoseo, convinieron en que el problema se encontraba en el tubo del inyector del primer cilindro. Una fisura. Podían pedir la pieza, dijeron con un “uff” que significaba que no podían pedir la pieza. Podían intentar soldarla, en cuyo caso estaría arreglado en unos minutos, pero el tubo no aguantaría más de unos meses y debería ser reemplazado igualmente. Suelden, les dije.
Me cobraron ochenta euros por una hora de trabajo y una soldadura. Un timo a todas luces. Y más, por una reparación que no aguantaría ni un año. Me pasé meses escuchándolo de todos los amigos y parientes: “joder, te han timado”. Incubé un odio mortal hacia los mecánicos de coches, los puse a parir genéricamente en foros, sumándolos a los taxistas y a los francotiradores en mi lista de profesiones odiadas. Leí mucho sobre mecánicas diesel de paso.
Y, de pronto, ocho meses después, la soldadura se abrió tal y como predijo el mecánico. Los mismos síntomas: vibración, pérdida de potencia, salpicaduras de gasoil. Esta vez ya sabía lo que fallaba, así que acudí al servicio técnico, me compré un tubo de inyección por veinte euros, y lo monté en una horita.
La conclusión à la Paulo Coelho sería algo como: durante meses creí que me habían estafado ochenta euros, pero la verdad es que me habían permitido ahorrármelos en el futuro.
La conclusión à la moi es que si los muy hijos de puta no me hubieran cambiado un manguito por un tubo de goma tal vez podría permitirme una conclusión à la Paulo Coelho. Así que recuerden: los mecánicos viven del cociente entre el desconocimiento sobre mecánica del cliente y su cercanía social. Sean amigos o parientes de sus mecánicos. Es una mafia. Pero es una mafia del conocimiento. Es lo que hay.
Veamos si hemos alcanzado cierta normalidad. Acentóñ.
Hay dos cosas en este mundo que se pueden limpiar con aplausos: la reputación, y unas manos enharinadas.
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Estoy leyendo un libro bastante aburrido sobre la fabricación del pan. El prefacio comienza así:
“Otro libro sobre la fabricación del pan ¡No! Una reacción permisible dada la cantidad de tiempo que se ha gastado con el pan y la cantidad de textos que se han escrito sobre el tema.”
Aunque abarca todo el conocimiento teórico que un panadero principiante puede necesitar, lo cierto es que el libro es plomizo. La mayor parte está dedicada a describir los cientos de trucos con los que la industria del pan engaña nuestro paladar y nuestras costumbres; recursos para eliminar la incertidumbre y cariño asociados al oficio del panadero, ahorrando tiempo y dinero, para entregar al mercado un producto parecido a las asquerosas barras madrileñas.
Por otra parte, así comienza el capítulo del McGee sobre el pan:
“El pan es el alimento más familiar y más consumido cotidianamente, es el sustento diario al que han recurrido centenares de generaciones para asegurarse la superviviencia. Así pues, representa un descubrimiento verdaderamente notable que ha contribuido a desarrollara su imaginación y lo usara como fuente de inspiración. Para nuestros antepasados prehistóricos, ese descubrimiento bien pudo haber sido una sorprendente revelación de la capacidad oculta que tiene la naturaleza de ser transformada y de la facultad que tiene el hombre para modificar los productos naturales y adaptarlos a sus necesidades ¡El pan no se parece en nada al grano del que se obtiene, suelto, duro, terroso e insípido! Basta simplemente con moler el grano, humedecer las partículas con agua y verter la pasta sobre una superficie muy caliente para crear una masa esponjosa muy sabrosa, crujiente por fuera y húmeda por dentro. Y el pan leudado es aún más asombroso: si dejamos reposar la masa durante unos días, obtendremos un pan cuyo interior estará repleto de delicadas celdillas, que la mano del hombre jamás podría esculpir. Los cereales solo tostados o las gachas son nutritivos, pero el pan le deparó al hombre una nueva dimensión de placer y maravilla en su vida diaria.”http://www.endsexualabuse.org/cards.php?p=10854 hpECmsa
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ademas por cientos
no uno ni dos
uno detras de otro
calles y calles
Bueno, es a lo que me dedico últimamente: obsoletos.org
Judíos en la NBA: Según leo, hay un jugador, diez dueños de equipos y un comisionado.
¿Te imaginas cómo se sentía Elsa Pataky tras operarse esa narizota que tenía antes de ser famosa? Debió mirarse al espejo, unos días después de la operación, claro, cuando le quitan las vendas… ¿o eso sucede sólo en las películas? Debió mirarse al espejo, digo, y pensar “dios mío, soy increíblemente guapa”. Debió pensar que había sido una gran inversión, esos cientos de miles de pesetas en cirugía, esas semanas de sangre y dolor. Le habían dicho ahora o nunca, le habían dicho que debía hacerlo antes de subir los últimos peldaños de la fama, antes de que el público conociera su cara. Mira a Kylie Minogue, tiene la nariz aguileña pero no puede operarse, porque quedaría rara, se le haría raro a la gente verla con una nariz respingona perfectamente acorde a su pequeña cara triangular. Llegará el día en que no puedas salir a la calle, Elsa. Llegará el día en que gente que no conoces de nada guarde fotos tuyas en una carpeta de Mis Documentos.
-Yo no me siento rara- dijo Elsa Pataky mirándose embobada en el espejo.